Paperclippings Blog: My Big Fear (Re Run)

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I pray because I believe, and I believe because I pray.

Joseph Walker--Deseret Morning News



Name:
Kelly
Location:
Utah, United States



Kelly is the mother of 5 adorable kids--4 boys and a girl. The girl came in a package with a boy (twins). Kelly is married to a charming young man who lives and breathes computers. They are also guardians for three nieces and a nephew.

She is active in the community having served as PTA President of a local elementary school, on the board of the Salt Lake Mothers of Twins, as a district round-table trainer with the Cub Scouts, as a volunteer for Sidelines (a support network for Women on bed rest during pregnancy) and she and her husband are active in the LDS Church.

Read more about me...






My City of Heroes level 50 hero


Salt Lake LDS Temple Centennial with a full 3D model of the building in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah. This Single Image Stereogram was done at the 100 year anniversary of the building's completion.

Printed at 18x24 inches.







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"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

Helaman 5:12




Courtesy of Scott Kurtz


 

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

My Big Fear (Re Run)

I ran this blog entry a year ago. I decided to run it again as spring time is here and once again I have to face my greatest fear.

I am in a local Super Store with my teenage son buying a pair of gym shorts and shoes for his Fitness class at school. At the end of a very long isle is a light brown patio umbrella. It is January and I know, for a fact, that stores do not start the summer patio displays until March or April. But there it is. Most people would not even notice it nor give it a second thought. My son, in fact, has no idea it is there—even when I point it out to him.

But for me, the patio umbrella is somewhat of an enigma. I can tell you a lot about them. I can tell you what colors they come in; the different styles that are available and where you can buy them. I can tell you which stores carry them and which do not. But I do not have the foggiest idea what is written on the price tag. I can’t get close enough to find out.

The hitch to all this is that I am unbelievably terrified of them. I am so terrified; in fact, that I would rather die than face the underside of one of them.

I have never known a time when these objects did not scare the daylights out of me. When I was a kid my parents had a great big one. Giving a description of it is enough to send me spinning. It was green with white fringe around the edges. It can manage to tell you what it looked like from a distance, but if I try to tell what it looked like from the underside I ...I just can't go there, though I know what it looked like.

My parents tried to calm my fears though they figured it was a passing childhood fear and that I would eventually grow out of this fear. Then one day, after my dad did some research, he learned I had a bona fide phobia. As an adult I would go to hypnosis and other therapy with no improvement.

Phobias, I learned, did not involve actually being afraid of the object or situation. It was the fear of being afraid that perpetuated the phobia. I had felt something akin to fear when faced with one of these objects. Subconsciously, I never want to feel that again. I refuse to go near them. It is like there is an invisible barrier between them and me. I can feel them when I am not looking. All it takes is to see one of them out of the corner of my eye and I jump.

I can tell myself that they are harmless sources of shade. But, does my subconscience listen? NO!

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4 Comments:

On Saturday, April 08, 2006 11:25:00 PM, Blogger Jess wrote...

One of my friends goes to a specialist for (almost) the same thing. She's terribly afraid of spiders, and always has been no matter what. This specialist does almost a mix of reflexology, and pressure point therapy. Basically, my friend (we'll call her Kate) sits with a vial of spider venom in her hand, while the specialist pushes on specific pressure points. She says it's working. I'll try to find the name of the treatment, and send it to you if interested.

 
On Sunday, April 09, 2006 3:54:00 PM, Blogger Kelly wrote...

The best I do right now is keeping myself going to these stores where they have these things on display. Sometimes I can find ways to circumvent them altogether, but sometimes I have to walk within a few feet of them to exit the store.

But I keep going to the store.

 
On Thursday, November 29, 2007 11:52:00 AM, Blogger nanc wrote...

oh, this is getting good!

i didn't used to like raw oysters until accidentally ate some...

 
On Thursday, November 29, 2007 1:46:00 PM, Blogger Kelly wrote...

I don't like oysters, but my great grandmother used to bring them to Thanksgiving every year.

 

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